Usually you are one of my most favorite months of year. (Aside from June, but June's a given since it's my birth month.) I adore the beautiful colors and the crisply fresh air that usually rolls in during an October autumn in the Midwest. I love all things apple, especially crisp apples with a slice of sharp cheddar or the sweet tang of apple cider.
Usually, October is my month to slow down a bit and appreciate the beauty of the everyday.
Usually, October is my change to really revel in playing and working outdoors without getting sweaty or needing approximately ten thousand layers to avoid the risk of frostbite.
Usually, October is the time I start thinking ahead to holidays and figuring out how I'll handle the long winter ahead.
But not this year.
October has had some incredible highs. Including one, holy shit, I can't believe I did it, high. (I promise, full story coming soon!)
But October has also battered me about quite a bit. Shaken me to my core. I could predict the coming storm a bit and had been trying to avoid it. But sometimes, you just find yourself in the middle of the storm no matter what.
It's still storming a bit around these parts. But I feel like I'm either in the eye of the storm, or I'm reaching closer to the ends of the swirling winds. Either way, I feel more confident than I did just two weeks ago.
But the emotions have been a bit messier of late. There's been the overall roller coaster, and the crazy daily emotional one too. That said, I've settled into a routine of sorts. I've got my support network - wonderful Joe, fantastic friends, encouraging family - and I know, down deep, it's just a temporary thing.
Just the same, I'm glad October is over this year. And that's a bittersweet feeling to admit.