07 March 2013

Que Sera, Sera

Whatever will be, will be. 
The future's not ours to see. 


I have been absolutely obsessed with this version of the song lately. There hasn't been a day that's gone by in the last few weeks where I haven't listened to the song at least once. 

Seems like there's so much wisdom packed into one little song. And it's been speaking to me on a heartfelt level. 

I haven't fully picked apart why this song speaks so strongly to me right now, but I'm working my way through it. Something to do with dreams and schemes and goals and changes and fears and peace with the future. 

I have so much I want to say on the topic, but every time I sit down to write, I'm frozen. Frozen with fear of not saying it the right way. Frozen with fear of not making sense....to myself, much less to anyone else. 

But the truth of it is, writing is how I make these intangibles make sense. 

I don't know what the future holds for me. But I do know the dreams I have for the future. And I know all the ways I'm scheming and achieving, step-by-slow-step, to make those dreams part of my future realities. It's in the little things like the realization a year ago "why not now?" when I started to muse again that someday I'd like to grow my hair out to donate it. It took longer than I anticipated, but I made it happen. And my friends, while I'm still not used to my crazy short hair now, it gives me so much pleasure to know I made that dream happen and that it was a dream that makes the world just a little better of a place to live. 

Changes are coming. I look around in amazement at the life I've created for myself. Love, light, laughter, friends, community. These were all things I wanted, and they're all things that are now part of my life. And that knowledge makes me so excited to see what will be.


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