26 June 2012

A Good Day


This last day of my twenty-seventh year. 

Today was a good day. 

A good day to end a good year. 

A good haircut. 

A good mani-pedi.

A good time spent with a newborn boy. 

A good ice cream cone with sprinkles to end the day. 

A good end to a good year. 

And I can't quite put into words how calm and excited allmixedupatonce I am about finally turning twenty-eight. 

It's been a magical number in my mind for quite a few years now. 

Not quite sure why. 

Can't quite put my finger on it. 

But I know, just know,

Down deep in my bones,

Twenty-eight is going to be an amazing year. 

Not good, not great. 


And magical. 

And powerful. 

Just know it!

21 June 2012

Slower than Slow Beauty

Tokyo, in the sultry heat.

There's beauty in this hazy, sultry heat.
It's hot, so hot.
With humidity so thick it seems to caress your skin.
I find myself desperate for cool and soothing. 
Standing in the cool, white bathtub, 
sticking one foot, then the other, under a noisy waterfall, 
so cold I audibly gasp as it first touches my skin.
In front of the wide-open fridge,
pulling red, red cherries out of the glass bowl,
frosted with cold. 
I move slow,
slower than slow now.
As my body slows, 
so do my thoughts. 
As I sit there, 
in a hot apartment, in the late 
afternoon sun,
when that bead of sweat will finish its race down my back.
My hummingbird thoughts
slow down, 
one by one, 
slower than slow, 
until they creak to a stop. 
Sweet relief.
To have time to love those thoughts, 
as they come, 
one by one. 
To turn the thoughts over and over again, 
savoring each one. 
Loving the spirit and soul that thinks
these slower than slow,
one by one
Loving the curvy, hourglass, dimpled body
that houses the spirit and soul that thinks
the slower than slow, 
one by one 
Loving the sultry caress 
of the humidity that seduces
the curvy, hourglass, dimpled body
into slowing, 
slower than slow, 
so the spirit and soul can finally 
those slower than slow,
one by one
There's real beauty 
in this heat and humidity, 
as long as you slow
and savor those
slower than slow, 
one by one 

19 June 2012

Not Going to Lie....

.....just a wee bit jealous of Joe's view from dinner in LA tonight. 

It must be a tough life for a business consultant indeed. 

18 June 2012


In our little household of two, we can stretch our groceries out for two weeks, usually. 

Which is usually just fine with me. Since I'm not a fan of grocery shopping. At all. 

But we've picked up a little habit that always makes me smile at the end of our grocery shopping. 

Without fail, every single time, Joe sneaks off and picks out a fresh bouquet of flowers for me. Just because. 

I really do love this guy. I'm so lucky. 

17 June 2012

Just Pinch Me

Every now and again, there's a moment. 

It sneaks in unexpectedly and just takes your breath away. 

Absolutely shatters your heart. In the perfect way, of course. 

I was in stop and go traffic this afternoon. Very par for the course on Chicago expressways. 

I'd just dropped Joe off at O'Hare for his flight to LA for business. 

Sweet kisses and a rushed goodbye and I made my way back onto the expressway only to find myself stopped. 

But then I came around the curve and the first glimpse of the Chicago skyline came creeping into view. Much like that first tantalizing glimpse of the Rockies as you first drive into Colorado. 

And it floored me. 

This is our life. 

Our perfectly happy little life. 

Our cute little car. Our fantastic city. Our jet-set lifestyles. 

It almost felt so surreal that I wanted a pinch to remind myself, "this is real."

We're so blessed. 

15 June 2012

A Magical Moment

As I mentioned yesterday, today has some exciting news: 

Every once in a while, magic happens. 

And in those moments, we're not always lucky enough to realize it's a magical moment. But sometimes we are that lucky to realize, "this, this is magic, right here, right now."

For me, this is a magical moment. 

It's been months in the making with careful planning and execution with none other than the lovely Mb.

We started by encouraging each other. 

Then by pushing. 

And challenging. 

Finally, one night, we talked for hours about our mutual desires to s l o w down, live, and enjoy our lives. We wanted to live in the moment, soak it all up, and take photographs that spoke volumes. But more than that, we wanted to share those moments, the memories, and the photographs with each other. 

And with that, b r e a t h e  AND  BE was born. 

It's a special place. 

A place where magic happens with every single post. 

It is a collaborative photographic adventure that unites us despite the many miles that divide us. 

And one that we're both incredibly excited, and oddly nervous, about sharing with you all. 

14 June 2012

One Year Later

Today, exactly one year ago, I was in the operating room having my massive thyroid/tumor removed. You can read more about that here and here. Today, I have no health concerns lingering from the surgery. I no longer am under constant doctor care, aside from being sure that my thyroid levels are tested at every physical exam. And that scar? Pretty much invisible (all pictures below taken today). Yay!

P.S. -    Be sure to check back tomorrow for some exciting news!

12 June 2012

Balloon Wishes Update

A little status update on my balloon wishes

Hopes for the year:
  • Get fit
  • Gain muscle
  • Develop workout routine that helps stave off osteoporosis
  • Move more every day Never complete, but absolutely part of my daily routine.
  • Daily workouts Maybe not always daily, but often enough and consistent enough to be considered a regular workout routine.
  • Daily walks
  • Bake bread from scratch (never baked anything with yeast before)
  • Perfect a cake from scratch recipe (baked several from scratch cakes, but always with some errors)
  • Try a new recipe per week (and/or develop some healthier versions of favorites) Thanks to Pintrest and various cookbooks, I've been inspired enough to try several new recipes a week. 
  • Finally take the tango lessons Joe gifted me with for my birthday last year
  • Use only manual settings on my camera
  • Better blogging/blogging from the heart
  • More handwritten letters (got lazy in the last year)
  • More homemade gifts Not all perfect, but perfectly full of love.
  • Weekly "thank you" entries (on blog or in journal still TBD)
  • Study sign language with Joe
  • Make donations to already chosen charities
  • Finally set up that Roth IRA
  • Grow my hair long enough to donate to Locks for Love
  • Clean up computer files Moot point. Hard drive is fried. 
  • Develop off-computer storage system for pictures In progress now. 

10 June 2012


Congratulations Love on graduating Summa Cum Laude with your MBA!
I'm so damn proud of you. 

07 June 2012

All Around

Found on my way home from the gym this morning. 
Love really is all around us. 

05 June 2012

Writer's Block

This is tricky.

I have so many stories I want to share.

I just can't figure out whether to start at the beginning and tell the story in a roughly chronological order, or just dive in and tell whatever story comes to mind as it pops up.

Readers, please weigh in?

To be fair, I have given the highlights of my hearing story before.

Maybe that's a good starting point.


I've sat here for several hours, writing and deleting, writing and deleting, and I don't know where to go. This must be writer's block. So much to say, just not sure how or where to start sharing.

04 June 2012

A Part of Who I Am

My friends, I've been doing some thinking lately.

About life and experiences and passions and beliefs and using your passions and talents and life experiences to help others.

And well, I've been a bit lazy about that. I got through some tough challenges in my life a better person, but I opted to leave those challenges behind me instead of helping others. Mostly because, well, it's just my everyday life; as much a part of me as the fact that I have brown hair that does what it wants, or that I'm right handed, or that I have a cute little mole on my left foot.


I'm KtMac, and I'm deaf.

This has been mention a time or two on this blog. It's not a secret. But my hope is that by telling my story here, I might help someone else through their own struggles.

With hearing, with understanding another perspective, with feeling like you don't belong, with adversity, with hope.

I recently started watching the ABC series Switched at Birth on Netflix. I still can't decide if I'm a fan of the overall story line, but there have been a few scenes in which one of the lead characters, who is Deaf, has some experiences in school that were so similar to my own in school that it still makes my heart ache, days later.

As I was telling a friend about the show, I explained one of the things I really like is that this character and her mom use their new life experiences as an opportunity to educate others on what it's like not hear in a hearing world. But, they do it in a non-confrontational, non-militant way. And I realized that while I'm always happy to share my story when asked, I'm not so good about just volunteering my story, especially when it might help someone else.

So, from here on out, I'll be sharing more stories, more snippets of what it was like to grow up hearing impaired. What it was like to become deaf. How having a cochlear implant was the best decision for me personally. What some of the challenges I face on a daily basis are. How my loved ones have adjusted to and compensated for and cheered on my differences.

While I generally choose not to talk too much about my deafness, preferring not to highlight my differences, these stories are just as much a part of me as the fact that I have curly brown hair, a complete inability to sing in tune, and the natural grace of a baby giraffe, and these stories need to be told too. For me as much as for others.