01 September 2008

Heart to Heart with the One Who Stole My Heart

Following the request I got in Joe's reply email, I was choosing to not reply right away and consider our options and our future. I planned on calling him on Monday.

However, after a morning out with my Mama, who does such a great job of wearing me out, and a lazy afternoon nap, we were bumming around my apartment just gossiping and talking when I realized that my Facebook chat window was open. I was originally irritated to see I had a new message (I thought it was from someone who has been a bit annoying lately), but was delighted to see it was the one I'm in love with.

We chatted a bit - he's opted to continue his service with the Peace Corps and is being reassigned to Albania (ironically enough, his original number one choice of a country to serve in) - so we discussed the logistics of his transfer and his excitement about his new placement.

Then, thanks to modern technology and Mark Zuckerberg (or whatever his name really is), we had a long heart to heart and really opened up to each other. It was a conversation we probably should have had prior to his departure, but in this case, it was much better late than never at all. We don't have any answers yet for how we're going to handle the next two years; we'll figure it out as we go along. What matters right now, is we both know, finally, exactly how we feel about each other and how the other person feels about us.

It's horribly awkward to have such an intimate conversation via instant message and emails, but I can't even begin to imagine how awful the wait would have been had we had to carry out such a conversation via letters and snail mail from a developing country. Evidently, we both had a lot to say.

By the time we ended the conversation, knowing we'll try to figure out our relationship as we go along, that we love each other, and that we do have something worth fighting for, I couldn't believe two hours had passed.

I'm thrilled we were able to talk. I'm thrilled we were able to open up honestly. It was still difficult, even after opening up so much just a few days prior in an email, but I'm proud of myself. For as much as I wear my heart on my sleeve, I'm still pretty guarded once intimacies (with a friend, a lover, an accquaintance) reach a certain level, so to continue to open up so much made me quite proud of myself.

Of course, I'm delighted that being so open has worked out so well...

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